Whatever it is for you in your life, your work – whatever your next step is, my prayer for you is that you do not experience hopelessness because there is always another step to take. My hope and prayer for you is that you are listening to whatever that whisper or shout or nudge or desire or anger or intuitive leaning is – that you listen to it and that you follow it because that’s how the whole thing works. – Rob Bell
After weeks/months talking about it, this weekend I finally resolved to resign from my library shelving job, but when I tested the finality of how that sounded by telling a couple people what I planned to do, I followed immediately with truth: Quitting makes me nervous. I don’t have a plan for what’s next. I have some closely held desires. And also hopes. And plenty of anger and grief and doubt mixed in too.
A lot has happened – A lot has changed since I applied for the library shelving job last June. It’s been a wild, hard year with all kinds of stuff that doesn’t go in print right here, right now. But as our family has navigated a rocky, dangerous path, I have over and over felt the the anchors hold and seen the next steps come clear.
My job has been good. I like my boss and the people I work with. But there are a lot of other factors in play. And so, I went to work this morning planning to give my notice, but also feeling the weight of the unknown next. Then – a remarkable bit of synchrony…. I was shelving in the media section and listening to Rob Bell’s podcast in the hour before the library opened when I heard the words I needed for this day: My hope and prayer for you is that you are listening to whatever that whisper or shout or nudge or desire or anger or intuitive leaning is – that you listen to it and that you follow it because that’s how the whole thing works.
Courage to follow through. I went downstairs and talked to my boss (she wasn’t surprised, now she just has an actual date – June 22!), turned in a letter, and submitted the forms. It’s official now.
Today I took the next step…because that’s how the whole thing works.
But YIKES. Just saying.